Do guys even do or get TMI questions on Tumblr? As far as I can tell it’s just an excuse for anon to ask women sex questions. I’m totally fine with this btw.
Chronicles of Bard Skater, radical lute justice
falsejim: “Hold,” said the man in yellow stockings. He strummed his lute. “I- I requested a helicopter,” said the bank robber. “Tune up your act,” the man said, rolling forward on his skate board. He struck with the lute as he passed. “You sound a little flat!” “I am so confused,” said the robber from the ground.
Every scar brings me closer to revenge.
falsejim: His fist drove into my stomach. I threw up across his forearm, bile burning my throat and soaking into the black sand. We can stop any time, he said, shaking vomit from his hand. I stood as straight as I could manage, raised my weapon. Again, I said.
Bare knuckle bear brawling under midnight sun
falsejim: They stood over the eviscerated remains. The bear, calm after shocking violence, stared past them. One man raised his rifle. The other pushed the barrel down. Hold on, Jeddediah, he said. Turned his head, following the bear’s gaze. The golden breasted trophy glistened in the Alaskan light. He did win. Maybe he wants what’s his?
Fifteen years sailing with your sister’s killer
falsejim: “Had to pull up my breeches and run,” you say. “And you? Any regrets?” A confession and you could call him out. Holmgang at the standing stones, vengeance before the runes. He stares into his cup, blinks. “I regret,” he says. Wipes a tear from bloodshot eyes. “I regret we do not have more mead.” This was written for me, how awesome is that?
Throughout the two cats never stopped smiling.
falsejim: What a pleasant night, Poppy said, adjusting her top hat. Pickles was dismembering a vole, tearing limbs from sockets and tossing them into the air. They described a perfect parabola and dropped into his open mouth. I concur, he said, wiping his whiskers. A little damp, but still very fresh.
No plunder for viking bikers in hell.
falsejim: Sweat broke out across Sven’s brow. He kicked down a gear and accelerated around a long corner, flames from his exhaust, brimstone heavy in the air. Knut slowed until they were riding side by side, the hafts of their battleaxes almost touching. One day, Knut said, we are going to ride right out of hell. My good friend falsejim wrote this for me. Fucking awesome.
Everybody has at least one secret.
falsejim: Celia pushed aside a blind. It was a hot day. The workers opposite her office had removed their shirts. Her gaze lingered. The university planning update had said construction would continue for at least four months. Lucky they were not digging up the hockey fields, she thought, or she would have to rebury the bodies.
sisterofsteam asked: scroll through first page, BAMF insta follow for being so awesome!